WERE ALL PLASTIC
Just put yourself in my shoes for a day or two

You know those people that complain about how there life is over because they have daddy issues or family problems or they just got there hearts broken from being inlove wif da 1 for 2 weeks. There is people out there with even more serious problems, someone just got diagnosed with cancer, someone is dying from cancer, someone just died. I’m not sitting here trying to get a sympathy vote from anyone, but I absolutely hate it when I have to sit around listening to people complain about non-important situations in there life and compare it to let’s just say me “oh Emily you have the best life why can’t I be like you” do you really want to be like me, really. Well here’s my life. I got diagnosed with sarcoidosis at the start of the year, basically its a condition were they have no explanation for what’s going on in your body because you have all these symptoms that they can’t understand how or why they got there. I then got diagnosed with glandular fever on top of that, then all these others like streptococcus and all these gene and , t/white blood cell crap, basically I have atleast 5 things going on with me. At one stage I was taking 8 tablets a day, thankfully I’m down to 2 now. I’ve had MRI’s, x-rays, ultra sounds, cortisone injections jabbed in my knee, heart tests, blood tests every week. The only way I’m passing year 11 is with special consideration, I hand in assignment months later, have extra time on sacs. For my 3/4 exam I get to have longer time and take breaks basically cheat if I want to on the exam. If I go into a sac or exam, write my name on the top and say I’m done, I’d get a satisfactory for that subject and pass it. If you could count up all the days I’ve actually attended school this year, I’d be just about 8 weeks which is 1 term. I don’t want school to have to be like that, not this year or next, i want the F’s and i want the struggle. I actually want to go to school and see my friends instead of sitting at home doing nothing because thats all i can do at times. It’s not like my condition is deadly and i’m gonna die from it. The only thing I can see myself dying over is the fact my depression is slowly taking over my body and that the thought of dying sounds so much more better then having all my 4 doctors not doing anything about getting me better. Everynight I cry, everynight I fight with my parents because of school and work, everynight I fight with myself about trying to get better. I don’t want to be sick anymore, I can’t even remember the last time I was okay, and didn’t have a cold, or a sore body part or wasn’t tired, I may have been diagnosed this year with it but it was going on years before someone decided to do something about it.
Don’t ever tell me your life sucks, ever!

Yes I understand this isn’t as bad as my name being thrown around but people telling my completely non related things about my sickness right now, is pissing me the fuck off!!

It’s enough stress to have to live with it but telling people porky pies is not fun which makes them freak out about me and me angry!!!
Eyahavauapqqvqgyqpqvqoqpqbs

I’m depressed

Im not trying to be one of those attention seekers because I got my heart broken or what not. But I love each and everyone of my followers in each little way, so I’m gonna be real and I’ve always been real but this time is different because i’m actually really scared for my safety, I have friends from school on here but I honestly couldn’t care less. Hi my name is Emily and i’m suffering from depression.

For the past three days, all my mum has done is yell at me

And tonight was the worst, because I said yes to working a function. I’m fucking sick of her having her period at me! Fuck shove a tampon up that shit and stop being a fucking slut @ me! I have feelings too mum!

It’s not like my feelings are legit for you, but I do have a soft spot Nd it sucks big black ballsack

Thanks for not leaving me dinner mum

And taking away my laptop that has ALL my homework on it, youve really accomplished a lot tonight!

It’s true what they say, you can’t be just friends with a past love

This probably sounds a little lame and what not, and i know every fucking little 12 year old wants and thinks they are one.

But I really want to make a career out of music, and not just one of those singers or person that plays an instrument cause i can only play twinkle twinkle and heart and soul on the piano, and can only sing in the shower. I’m saying i really want to become a dj, I love my music, i love finding new aspiring djs and getting there music out there. I hate how everyone thinks they are like god on the turn tables, i’ve never been near one, and i mean i’m not saying i will become a dj but it really is a life long dream of me, i am the person who has there phone plugged in at parties because i am the one with the music, i am the music man. Everyone looks at me funny when i say i want to become one, but i want to make it out there like Holly-j, being sexy and a good dj! Just my little intake and rant about my life!  

I’m trying to win you back, you told me that you wanted a girlfriend and your over being single. I will try until I give up, and I won’t give up so I’m gonna try as hard as I can try!
oh yeah, tumblin yeah!

dontmesswithml:

catanoticimage

(Source: analmostmadeup-poem, via colour-thewalls)

We finally became friends with benefits.

No strings attached and once in a life time thing.
Sorry to say but, it went on for too long and I developed little feelings.

FUCK!

I feel like my mums trying to ruin my social life

You walked back into my life, now your all I think about

Hmmm
You taught me to be strong